You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
