I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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