remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
