So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
My liver just had a heart attack.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
