he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
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