11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
