I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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