I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
