im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize