You smell like stripper and shame
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
