He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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