i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Dignity is for republicans.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
