I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
the liver wants what the liver wants
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
