let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize