rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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