i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
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