i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
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