I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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