But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
