He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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