I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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