So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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