A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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