spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize