So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
So much Jack, so little girl.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
