Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
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