ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
