I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
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On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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