it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
