Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
