i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
