I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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