I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
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