Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
