Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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