afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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