Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
