halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
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