Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
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