p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
