I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
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