I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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