i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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