I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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