he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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