3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
