Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
