Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
