she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Randomize
