is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
