This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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