Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
