Texts From Last Night

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  (206): View more from Washington

  A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings

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  (206): A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings http://tfl.nu/86t1
  Replies (23) Good night (3331) Bad night (701)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!

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  (512): OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs! http://tfl.nu/zfxs
  Replies (7) Good night (748) Bad night (5197)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.

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  (313): theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen. http://tfl.nu/by0t
  Replies (16) Good night (1741) Bad night (3387)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?

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  (630): which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november? http://tfl.nu/f9dy
  Replies (52) Good night (1116) Bad night (5705)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...

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  (847): can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at... http://tfl.nu/sgdp
  Replies (44) Good night (843) Bad night (7430)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??

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  (203): is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore?? http://tfl.nu/voom
  Replies (42) Good night (1178) Bad night (10304)
• Favorite

  (318): View more from Louisiana

  What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?

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  (318): What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway? http://tfl.nu/w9j3
  Replies (19) Good night (5627) Bad night (1248)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.

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  (970): I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not. http://tfl.nu/wxss
  Replies (19) Good night (7536) Bad night (989)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?

  (707): View more from California

  ...did you eat that brownie?

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  (423): Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic? (707): ...did you eat that brownie? http://tfl.nu/j241
  Replies (2) Good night (2380) Bad night (558)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.

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  (205): I can HEAR him staring at your boobs. http://tfl.nu/pry3
  Replies (5) Good night (1340) Bad night (451)
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  (530): View more from California

  Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.

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  (530): Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking. http://tfl.nu/uxvx
  Replies (4) Good night (490) Bad night (1119)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.

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  (205): You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food. http://tfl.nu/oef6
  Replies (11) Good night (1108) Bad night (469)
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  (435): View more from Utah

  Sex in the moonbounce later?

  (801): View more from Utah

  This is why I love you.

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  (435): Sex in the moonbounce later? (801): This is why I love you. http://tfl.nu/fq99
  Replies (2) Good night (920) Bad night (234)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.

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  (425): He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth. http://tfl.nu/g2az
  Replies (6) Good night (355) Bad night (808)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.

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  (208): We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off. http://tfl.nu/bv1d
  Replies (2) Good night (489) Bad night (142)

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