Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil http://tfl.nu/4t0w
  Replies (14) Good night (638) Bad night (4045)
• Favorite

  (712): View more from Iowa

  the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (712): the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout http://tfl.nu/qr0c
  Replies (14) Good night (4966) Bad night (773)
• Favorite

  (870): View more from Arkansas

  Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (870): Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds. http://tfl.nu/xv3v
  Replies (30) Good night (3926) Bad night (1361)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (541): You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday. http://tfl.nu/xakl
  Replies (2) Good night (1207) Bad night (1165)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (801): An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts. http://tfl.nu/r3r6
  Replies (5) Good night (501) Bad night (893)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (304): 'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had http://tfl.nu/8hwk
  Replies (2) Good night (517) Bad night (1666)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis" http://tfl.nu/c89r
  Replies (4) Good night (406) Bad night (1074)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (814): I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave http://tfl.nu/mtmf
  Replies (5) Good night (366) Bad night (892)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs http://tfl.nu/t67m
  Replies (3) Good night (738) Bad night (329)
• Favorite

  (660): View more from Missouri

  I have a hunch Mama J got around.

  (660): View more from Missouri

  Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (660): I have a hunch Mama J got around. (660): Am I allowed to say that about my own mom? http://tfl.nu/20rk
  Replies (4) Good night (323) Bad night (563)
• Favorite

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (218): Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young? http://tfl.nu/34pp
  Replies (17) Good night (1520) Bad night (373)
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (309): WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?! http://tfl.nu/237p
  Replies (4) Good night (786) Bad night (221)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (256): You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No. http://tfl.nu/binp
  Replies (11) Good night (707) Bad night (335)
• Favorite

  (252): View more from North Carolina

  You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (252): You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am. http://tfl.nu/kiqx
  Replies (3) Good night (489) Bad night (218)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (408): im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake http://tfl.nu/9w4m
  Replies (1) Good night (581) Bad night (235)

Randomize