break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Can you bring me the toilet please
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.