Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods

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  (313): Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods http://tfl.nu/gefu
  Replies (3) Good night (765) Bad night (1012)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...

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  (404): think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room... http://tfl.nu/3nok
  Replies (17) Good night (5037) Bad night (710)
• Favorite

  (763): View more from Minnesota

  My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.

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  (763): My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries. http://tfl.nu/9ep5
  Replies (8) Good night (4917) Bad night (1423)
• Favorite

  (219): View more from Indiana

  Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role

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  (219): Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role http://tfl.nu/5zob
  Replies (14) Good night (1039) Bad night (4141)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.

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  (970): I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more. http://tfl.nu/19ra
  Replies (3) Good night (2852) Bad night (953)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.

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  (303): Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with. http://tfl.nu/dbx0
  Replies (18) Good night (4969) Bad night (1956)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.

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  (630): Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar. http://tfl.nu/ain1
  Replies (4) Good night (1863) Bad night (909)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.

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  (612): CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me. http://tfl.nu/rba5
  Replies (10) Good night (1778) Bad night (542)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.

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  (920): I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon. http://tfl.nu/kbkd
  Replies (8) Good night (1242) Bad night (745)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  Topless dodge ball cldnt top that

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  (619): Topless dodge ball cldnt top that http://tfl.nu/nbsl
  Replies (6) Good night (942) Bad night (447)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  You may now shotgun with the bride

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  (610): You may now shotgun with the bride http://tfl.nu/3bw7
  Replies (2) Good night (957) Bad night (428)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART

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  (908): HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART http://tfl.nu/i6nd
  Replies (5) Good night (1166) Bad night (444)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something

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  (612): Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something http://tfl.nu/w0o2
  Replies (2) Good night (632) Bad night (401)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job

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  (707): I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job http://tfl.nu/jtzh
  Replies (8) Good night (966) Bad night (361)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.

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  (617): He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer. http://tfl.nu/nrwh
  Replies (0) Good night (315) Bad night (568)

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