my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
