i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
