I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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