Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I just googled if crying burns calories
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
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