I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
