i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
