Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Pants are for mortals
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize