Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
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