Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
