Have you finally orgasmed yet?
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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