oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
