He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Your cock deserves a montage
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
