he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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