i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Randomize
